Mike's Journal 5-26-03

Last night in Florida.

Slept in and worked on the website. We had a 5 o'clock dinner reservation with Carlos and Samantha at Bern's Steakhouse in Tampa, a 5 star restaurant, so I didn't really eat anything the whole day. So, by the time we were ready to eat I could "eat the a$$ end out of a dead rhinoceros" (for those quote buffs...where and who...).

it was a 45 minute drive into Tampa and on Memorial Day there was a bit of traffic. I thought we were gonna wind up late but wound up getting there right on time. Also worried I wasn't going to be dressed enough in the best clothes I brought with me, tan khakis and a khaki button down. I really felt like I should be wearing a suit in here, though a sign said no shorts and polo minimum.

Carlos had prepared us that Samantha wasn't feeling good and might not show. I didn't think she would with a sore throat and all.

Anyway, Bern's is a place to behold. You have to check out the web site just to see the front page and what makes them a special place. I guess from what Carlos was saying, you have to make a reservation a week in advance for main dining.

To start off with Davor was the waiter (NO, NOT that one...) and he was very nice. He explained how everything worked and gave us some detail on the 27 page main menu taking care not to rush us or let any question go unanswered

To start with we went with a couple appetizers. Dan ordered the Steak Tartare and I got the Shellfish Ceviche (Hey, I could eat shellfish now because I read on the internet that the spots I have are sun poisoning and if I read it on the internet it must be true, right). I had never had prepared "Steak Tartare" before and I was curious to see what it was like. Well, it was GREAT, served on a 7 grain toast and I could have made a whole meal out of it. Had a slight taste of Worcestershire sauce, bread crumbs, maybe tomato, and just a hint of onion. Don't know if they put the raw egg in there or not but I couldn't really tell. I guess normally I would have the willies about raw meat, but this, I trusted totally. You go to a place like this and you know you're good with whatever they're serving you, from the fresh fish or lobsters swimming in their respective tanks to their own farm raised organic vegetables to the fresh herbs growing in the kitchen. Well, my appetizer was a little more tame, so to speak. The Shellfish Ceviche consisted of Shrimp, scallops and calamari in a tomato/ jalapeno sauce with cilantro, served with popcorn, soft corn kernels, pine nuts and shoestring sweet potatoes (tasted like). Very good, but too spicy for Dan and Carlos so they ate up the popcorn and other accoutrements. I got to eat the rest of the fish (can you sense the tears were streaming down my cheeks at that ;-) ).

Next came the soup. I had the classic French onion, which was very good. Dan opted for the ala carte Lobster bisque (I don't think we'll ever find one that compares to Cafe Lucci's most excellent shrimp bisque) and Carlos the Vichyssoise. I'll trust his opinion that while different from the last time he had it, was still very good. Cold potato soup... Not for me.. Salad to me was unremarkable and I had the creamy Italian dressing.

Alright time to get to the meat of the meal. Steak. Obviously, their specialty. I opted for the 14oz Delmonico served up medium rare with garlic butter, baked potato with s/c, bacon and chives. It was around and inch and a half thick and done to perfection. I saw a blurb on the menu that said if you regularly order a bigger cut of meat that you want to go at least a size smaller here since they weigh after trimming. Well when I go to a cheap steak place like Lone Star or Outback, I'll always opt for a 16oz Ribeye. Figured I was safe with a 14. WRONG. Well...almost. I did manage to stuff the whole thing down my hole but I pert near needed a tamping stick to do it. It was excellent though. Couldn't finish my potato or the side of Shitake Mushrooms Brian (Saute'd in wine, butter and lemon to crispiness... very good also), maraschino and almond carrots or garlic buttered bok choi.

One other note. Davor looked at me incredulously, when I asked him for some bread to soak up the sauce but managed to overcome his instinct and got me some with some of their awesome butter. I have to say, this fresh made butter tasted so so good, it was all I could do to keep from tasting it. Definitely the sweetest cream butter I have ever had.

Next came the tour of the kitchen and wine cellar. All I can say is wow. The kitchen is a well tuned machine of this small army of people all doing their thing with separate stations for their meat processing, fish, vegetables and bakery where it's all made right there. It was very cool.

The wine cellar too was unbelievable. To give you an idea, Carlos ordered a glass of Pinot Noir from the 130 page wine list. Standing, they had over 200 bottles open to be served by the glass. I think one they had opened was an 1851 port, at $150 an ounce. They have one of the largest collections in the world. of which 10% is housed on premises. Bottles on hand ranged up to $10,000 and one bottle that was worth over 100k. Yow. The wine cellar in itself was operated very efficiently as well, with every bottle labeled and tagged in the computer so a server can enter a specific wine on a ticket and it can be fetched and aired right away by someone down there.

When we were done with the tour we were led to the "Dessert Room", which in itself is a small restaurant upstairs of the main dining area. There are plenty of private cylindrical rooms that accommodate four people (bigger rooms were available). They were done in a dark wood and had a box on the wall that had a phone, light to alert your server, and selection of music.

Our server was a little cutie named Erin who was friendly and helped us continue our journey of excess. To start with we all had a form of coffee drink. I had a cold one called a Brazilian Frost, which was a shot of Brazilian espresso, vanilla ice cream whipped cream and powdered coffee beans. That was enough to jack me pretty good. After that we progressed to the REAL DESSERT.

I had an amazing little thing called Orange Accented Chocolate Chip Pecan Pie. Holy Crap was it good. It was a 5 inch disk about 3/4 inch thick that was so rich and flavorful, I felt like I was gonna 'slpode eating it and couldn't finish it by a bite. he title tells you what it's got in it and it was accompanied by a rum/ nutmeg cream sauce with caramel swirls. One of the best desserts I've had.

Carlos had a triple chocolate mousse, with a light, dark and white chocolate layers that looked very good and Dan opted for the Cheesecake, which Erin explained that some lady had come in and ordered a whole one, which they still charge by the slice and wound up costing her over a hundred dollars for one cheese cake. OUCH!

I think that concluded our evening of unabashed opulence. All in all it was around $250 for the three of us. And considering I was expecting to drop a note on this worked out very well.

Carlos had suggested going for a walk afterward but we weren't able to bring ourselves to do that. I also would expressly like to thank Carlos for introducing us to this place, taking us out and taking care of dessert for us and I enjoyed his company. It was nice to do something a little different and this was one heck of an experience. Bummed that Samantha wasn't able to make it but maybe next time.

Form there we headed back to the hotel. Originally, I was thinking of crashing but by the time we got back, that espresso hit me and I was jacked. We decided to go down to Bahama Mama's one last time to see Tambo and cry in our drinks and have her console us on our departure for home the next day.

As always, she was working hard but gave us a great big awesome smile when we got there. Since she was coming off of "Frozen Drink Hell" as she puts it, she said she wouldn't mind making us some. I had her obligatory, and very tasty Bahama Mama for one last time and Dan had a peach/ banana n/a colada. Tried something else, and while Tami was making drinks, was letting me taste test. Prolly had one little teeny tiny cup too many, but they were all really good.

As posted, the night before we had given Tambo a set of logo-wear as appreciation for her great service not knowing if we were going to get a chance to see her again. Well, since we did see her, she said she was wearing it and, ahem, showed us. She did say she tested the "eye-patch" earlier at her pool, but she's gonna have to send us the photo's to prove that one ;-) .

Got a nice hug and kiss good -bye and we bid our farewells to Tami (Tambo) and Bahama Mama's. She definitely made the stay more enjoyable and was a real down to earth sweetheart (who you surely don't mess with).

Good night St. Pete.

Mike